Halfway There Update

So about now I've begun to wonder why in the world I started this in the first place.

Several times I've said to myself "Three months? Really?"

But aside from the difficulty of so much restraint and self-discipline, I've begun to question my motives, which makes me wonder if it was a good idea in the first place.

Do I mean everything? No. To tell you the truth, the Bible reading has been downright easy. I'm on track, and I have to truthfully say that I feel like reading the Bible in 90 days is one of the best decisions I've ever made. I'm noticing things and grasping personalities and times so much better than I ever did at my snail's pace. I haven't felt like it was drudgery, like it was eating away at my time, or like I was missing out on anything by taking on this challenge. God's Word is an amazing thing. The more you devour it, the more you want.

I've also found an incredible music album that has partnered with the Bible reading in an amazing dance. It's called "The Story" and it is simply songs to accompany some of the most interesting characters of the Bible. When I finished Job, I played his song and sat back and just worshiped. It was so meaningful and real. I highly recommend it. (The album and the Bible reading!)

So what about the other parts of my self-challenge? I'm still doing them. I get on the elliptical every day for an hour and a half, and I record all my food and stay within my levels that are set in hopes of losing weight. I do feel like I may have lost a few pounds, though my scale phobia has prevented me from confirming.

I have had a hard time with the financial restriction only because of trying to eat in such a healthy manner. Truthfully, protein, fruit and veggies come at a price. It's been difficult. I did very well the first month, but since then I've started to "give up" to a certain extent, at least with the groceries.

I guess what I'm starting to wonder is what I am giving up by being so focused on the fitness. I'm not planning on really changing anything at the end of the these three months, but I doubt I will spend so much time exercising. Every day as I plod away at the elliptical, I wonder if my time there could be better spent with my children. Or writing. I haven't written anything since the beginning of this challenge.

I'm going to finish. And I'm going to allow the disciplines I've learned to be a part of my life on a regular basis. But I need to examine my motives. I need to understand why I am driven to do something, and whether that is really God's best for me. Sometimes even exercising and being healthy or frugal can be an idol and take the place of the one that I've promised to follow. I feel some days as if I am treading that dangerous line.

A few more weeks to go.