Is it Possible to Thrive with Autoimmune Issues?

When I was a child, I had a pediatrician I loved. Her name was Dr. Valencia, and she was the sweetest and most opinionated little Filipina lady you could ever meet. She saw me through my problems with asthma and allergies, and was probably credited with saving my life a time or two. Every time I went in to see her, she would sit behind her desk and lean back and talk to me like she had all the time in the world.

“Listen to your mother,” she demanded over and over. “You’ll regret it if you don’t listen to your parents.”

After puberty when I began to have the symptoms of autoimmune problems, she had no idea what was wrong with me. And since we were in a small rural community, pretty far away from any city of any size, there wasn’t anyone she could send me to in order to get to the bottom of it. So she did her best to treat my symptoms. And though she couldn’t diagnose what was ailing me, her care went a long way in seeing me through.

As a young adult, after moving to a city, I was able to be diagnosed and treated for ulcerative colitis. I respected and trusted my gastroenterologist. Dr. Subler followed all the traditional protocols of lots of procedures and tests and medications as treatment for this autoimmune disease, but I lived with the less than ideal results because I liked him. I would come into his office, and he would sit and talk to me about life. We would share what we were going through. He always cared about what I was experiencing and wanted to alleviate any suffering I was having. I never doubted that for a second.

After Dr. Subler moved away, I had two more gastroenterologists I loved. They cared about me, they did their best, and I trusted them.

Unfortunately, they both left the practice as well. And I entered the decade of my pregnancies, which for me caused my ulcerative colitis to all but disappear. If I began to have problems, after a little research and a few supplements and diet and lifestyle changes, I seemed to have everything under control. I thought I had figured out the cure, and I was set for life.

But my success didn’t last. When the positive effects of reproduction began to wear off a few years ago, I went back in search of a doctor. Because that’s what you do. But I found in the years I’d been having babies, things had begun to change in the world of specialists. I was suddenly in a production line of patients, being pushed through a factory-like list of procedures. When I would try to discuss the realities of autoimmune disease and the fact that medications and tests don’t work, I would be quickly dismissed or lectured at. When I would put off making appointments, I would get a letter saying I was being dismissed as a patient for not following the will of the doctor. Disheartened, I went my own way to take on the responsibility of autoimmune disease on my own, as so many like me have done.

Autoimmune disease is hard. It’s hard to figure out what to do, because what might work at one point may not work again in the future. And there are so many variables that we have no personal control over, like the weather or stress or environment. We can do everything right, and yet still suffer.

My symptoms intensified in the past couple years, and dragging my feet all the way, I went back to the doctor at the urging of my husband. I found a wonderful GP, actually a friend from church going all the way back to our teenage years. And once again I was sitting in the room with a doctor who truly cared, who wanted to help, who didn’t mind sitting and listening and taking her time to carefully decide how to proceed. She sent me to a new gastroenterologist we both hoped would be a better fit than the last one.

In July of last year, I called to make the first appointment. I waited two months to actually see the doctor. When I arrived in her office, I was greeted by an unfamiliar doctor, a young man who told me it was his first day as an intern. He was friendly enough, but he simply read through a list of questions. He went to confer with the doctor, who literally stepped into the examination room for five minutes. She gave me a checklist of tests that she would be performing that I should schedule, and brushed off my concerns about my inability to prepare for one of them. She was gone in a flurry of white.

Months went by as I waited for the tests she wanted done. (One of them was canceled once because she was taking a vacation to Europe.) In the end, by December, I had finally completed them (and was completely right about my inability to adequately be prepared for one of them, through no lack of trying.) Her verdict was sent to me via email. I was to take meds (that I had already told her I don’t see any results from.) She would no longer be seeing me (no explanation given) and suggested I call three other doctors for further treatment.

If this wasn’t discouraging enough, the bills from the two procedures she had prescribed (that she had barely addressed the results of) ended up costing us over $1000 after insurance paid all they were of a mind to pay.

And I was back at square one, with no improvement in my health after six months of pursuing traditional medical help.

Why do I tell my story? Because I hate doctors and the medical field and believe that we should depend completely on herbs and oils and vegetables for our health? Not at all. I still have had far more experience with caring people in the medical field than I have had negative. And beyond that, I’ve gone the other way and went to an integrative doctor who tried to treat my problems through supplements and diet changes, and though I did everything she instructed over a period of several years, I saw very little improvement in my health. And the reality was that insurance didn’t like paying for her services, either.

So what’s the answer for those of us with bodies who can’t seem to tolerate life? Who have conflicting health concerns that sometimes make us feel as if we are going completely crazy? Are there any solid answers for living with autoimmune conditions?

I’m not claiming to have any concrete answers that will change our lives. I think part of having an autoimmune disease is coming to the conclusion that our lives will always be more difficult than others’.

We will not be able to do it all. We will have to rest, stay home, be still, avoid stress and eat a strict diet.

We will have to learn to depend on our own good choices and research. We will have to find out, by trial and error, what helps and what makes no difference.

We will have to be disciplined to keep our bodies in shape even when the thought of moving makes us want to cry.

We will have to patient when flares interrupt our plans, our dreams, and cause us to disappoint those we love.

We will have to find something greater to live for than health. We will have to learn to smile and move on when others tell us we just aren’t trying hard enough, or we are unwilling to be helped.

This life is hard. Autoimmune disease is one way the darkness of this world is revealed. Our world and our bodies are wearing out. We are beginning to understand the verse in the Bible that says all of creation is groaning, waiting for God to make everything right.

But that being said, we can persevere. Autoimmune disease is no excuse to curl up in a ball and give up on everything. Pressing against adversity is what makes us stronger, both mentally and physically. Our despair shouldn’t go on continually or become a habit. At some point we must pick ourselves up, claim God’s promises that he will sustain us and accomplish his purposes for us, and we must go on and defy the odds.

Some practical advice that is likely to do some amount of good: 

Eat God made foods. 

Eat in balance. 

Take rests from eating.

Drink water. 

Be in the sunlight and fresh air as much as you can. 

Move every day, and increase the intensity of your movement little by little. 

Find your passion. 

Be still and hear God’s voice, and tell him your every thought and feeling. 

Rest. 

Find ways to declutter your schedule and have more down time. 

Enjoy relationships and pursue what is inspiring. 

Make deliberate steps to avoid the stress and chaos of this overcomplicated and greedy society. 

Live for others. 

Show compassion and mercy. 

Wherever you are, ask what you can do to improve it.

Autoimmune disease probably won’t be cured without an act of God. But we can learn to exist anyway. To fully live. Don’t let it be an excuse that causes you to give up or become bitter.

What about you? Do you have any ways of coping with autoimmune problems? Have you found anything that helps? Share in the comments. And thank you for reading! I pray God’s best for you in this new year!

40 is the New 20!

Forty. I'm about to turn forty.

I have been living in this world for forty years. Until now, I've always had the impression that forty was old. As in elderly. I was sure that if I didn't do something before I turned forty, I would never do it. I'd be too old and tired and achy. I'd have to start camping out in a rocker, knitting. I'd have to give up hopes and dreams and prepare for death.

Okay, my anticipation of this age may have been a little on the dramatic side. But I have come to a strange but relieving conclusion about turning forty. I'm okay with it. Not only am I okay with it, I can honestly say things are better now than when I was thirty. Or twenty. Or even ten!

How about an explanation?

I have a standard answer I save for the conversations that inevitably lead to the question "Why in the world do you have such a restrictive diet? Why are you so careful about stress, food and exercise?"

Well, the best way to put it is: my body hates me.

Most people don't struggle with this conflict to the degree I do. But then again, you don't hear most 40-year-olds saying that they feel better than they did at 30, 20 or even 10. But I absolutely do. I guess sometimes we get things backward.

 This is a picture of me with my sisters (I'm the oldest sitting on the far right) when I was almost ten. (Please disregard the hair. It was 1985 and my mother expected sons.)Most people don't remember feeling too poorly when they were ten. But to be honest, I'm not sure this nearly ten-year-old knew any better. I'd already been fighting asthma and allergies for as long as I could remember.  When I was ten, I was hospitalized for a week with an asthma attack. I took it in stride. It was the first time I'd had a T.V. all to myself, after all. And you don't spend too much time contemplating your mortality when you're ten. But it was the start of a long series of autoimmune issues. In those days, you took daily medicine and steroids for asthma. I'm not saying they didn't help keep me alive, but there are reasons why we no longer treat this condition this way.

Fast forward ten years. Ten long years of trying to keep my weight under control though I wasn't eating any more or exercising any less than anyone else in my family or circle of friends. I got into the habit of blaming myself between extreme diets. Obviously, there was something wrong with me. Obviously, I had no self-control and I must be doing something to cause my problems.So at twenty, I added emotional problems to my growing list of issues. By now, it was asthma, allergies, IBD and migraine headaches. I was hospitalized twice when I was nearing the age of twenty because I had caught a stomach bug and my body completely overreacted. And for every condition I was diagnosed with, a long list of prescriptions was the only answer I was given. No matter that my body overreacted to the medicine as much as it overreacted to a stomach bug. I went off the meds after dealing with every side effect known to man.This was the first time I asked God if I was going to die. I felt like I would both times.

Midway on my way from 20 to 30 I faced a new hurdle. I knew I was meant to be a mother. I was convinced there were four little ones - two boys, two girls - who needed me to be their mom. Problem was, my body didn't agree. I added PCOS to the list of body malfunctions and got fed up enough to do more than starve myself and exercise obsessively. 

My research in order to get pregnant was the first major step I took toward becoming healthy. My trail led to a simple little unassuming book called "Fertility Foods" by Dr. Jeremy Groll. It changed my life. I lost weight as I learned to eat less carbs and more protein. To my joy, my prayers were answered with a baby girl at the age of 26. 

Followed by a boy. And another girl. And another boy.

Pregnancy and childbirth took a toll on me. Through my early thirties, I probably felt the worst I have in my life. The hormonal issues I had with PCOS spun out of control. I couldn't control my weight. I felt old and tired and desperate.

I don't regret a single one of my children, by the way. Worth it.

But as our family reached completion, I reached the end of my ability to deal with my stubborn, uncooperative body. I needed ANSWERS. So I went back to researching. Slowly over the next few years, God brought answers in the form of people who taught me how to think differently. How to go outside the box of the normal and do things that would heal my body and bring a measure of peace.

I stopped eating wheat, sugar, anything with chemicals or preservatives, and inflammation drastically reduced in my body. I learned to deal better with stress, and with the help of the Holy Spirit I addressed my wrong thinking and let him begin to change me from the heart. I had the blessing of meeting a caring integrative doctor who treated my then undiagnosed thyroid problem with a natural form of gentle thyroid medicine that made me feel like a completely different person. And finally, not even a year ago, I met a wonderful doctor I only spent 15 minutes with who told me to consider the PCOS factor again. And a lot of new research, the loss of forty pounds and six months later, I cannot imagine a time in my life I have ever felt better.

And I'm forty. It took me forty years to figure out how to live at peace with this body. But it was possible. Persistence paid off. 

So maybe I'm living life backward. Or maybe God intends for all of us to grow into our bodies and our minds and feel like 40 is way better than 30 or 20 or 10. Either way, I feel responsible to share this story and help others find their way. I know better than anyone that you don't have to live in survival mode with a body that hates you. There are answers. They just take a little hard work, persistence and faith to accomplish. And the truth is, I couldn't complete the jobs God wants me to do when I was in that survival mode. So this healing is giving him glory. That's what it's all about, after all.

So all that being said, I'm glad to be forty. I wouldn't go back even if I could. I know there will be new challenges ahead, but I'm ready. 

Thank you Lord, for forty years of life you gave me to serve you. I give you the rest of my days and ask you to use my story to inspire others to pursue peace in their bodies.

 

How I Conquered IBD - An Introduction

I've had Ulcerative Colitis for a long time. My symptoms started when I was 13, 26 years ago. It would be another 6 years until I was diagnosed. Even then, it didn't take long for me to realize that no one understands Inflammatory Bowel Disease. Of the six gastroenterologists I was treated by over a 25-year period, most of them caring people whom I enjoyed interacting with, all of them had almost identical plans of action.

Meds. Tests. More meds. More tests. LOTS of appointments.

I went along with this for much longer than I felt I should. My intuition began to assure me every time I went to see them I was wasting my time. Because every medicine they insisted I needed to function in society did nothing for my colitis. Many times, it made it worse. All times, it made ME worse, by side effects and an undeniable emotional toll.

The last specialist I saw, four years ago, was not a nice and caring person like the others. He was abrasive, inattentive and arrogant. I already knew all the medicines he wanted to try would not work. I explained I could not tolerate medicines and asked him what I could change about my lifestyle and diet to control the symptoms and hopefully cause a remission. I had noticed that my UC went away during pregnancy and breastfeeding, and it had given me the idea that if I changed my body chemistry in some way, I might be able to control the disease naturally.

He told me, flat out, that it was impossible. I could do my own research, but I would be wasting my time. I left his office very discouraged. After three months, I received a letter saying that he was refusing to treat me because I had not made another appointment and so I was being considered an irresponsible patient.

My discouragement turned to indignation. What had he offered me that I should be excited about going back to his office? It seemed like his goal was to make sure he had enough patients walking through the door to make money, not making sure those patients were able to conquer their disease and live a normal life. 

And so I became my own advocate. I researched, scouring the internet for information about treating ulcerative colitis naturally. It was hard to come by. UC and Crohn's are notoriously hard to manage. But finally, I came across an obscure little article, written by a natural doctor in medical language that was admittedly very hard to read. It was an article on how to treat UC with supplements and diet. I didn't understand all of it, but I wrote down every supplement and how much I was supposed to take, jotted down each piece of advice concerning diet and exercise, and from that moment on made it my new lifestyle.

I have been in remission for almost all of the past four years, starting TWO WEEKS after I found that article. The only flare-up of UC I have had was related to the additive "carageenan" in my almond milk. As soon as I stopped drinking that brand, I was back in remission. I have learned more since then, and added other measures to my way of life that keep me from sinking back to where I once was, and I have been able to address other autoimmune issues and metabolism issues in my body, and as a result I have come to a place where I am almost at peace with my body, feeling good more days than I don't, having energy to do the things I want to do and need to do as a busy homeschooling mom and a writer.

It's time for me to share my story. Others are probably out there, being told time after time that it is impossible for them to manage their own disease. Suffering on meds, having tests that drain the life out of them and come at risk. I don't want anyone to have to live that way. So I'm telling you exactly what I did to conquer IBD. I'll be as brief as possible. I'll use language anyone can understand, even scared 13 year olds who have just started having symptoms or have been newly diagnosed.

You can conquer this disease, and the emotional toil that goes along with it in many cases. You can feel better on a long-term basis. It will involve some trial and error and a few different supplements, but in this day and age, they are easy to obtain.

Chances are, I will eventually publish a short book on this subject, going into a little more detail. It's a passion of mine to help others know they can take charge of their own health in cases where our medical system comes up short. For those of us living with autoimmune diseases, often our best course of action is a complete lifestyle change, and an adjustment in our thinking. It won't be easy.

But it's possible. More to come.