Seeing Opportunities in the Obstacles

Introverts everywhere may be rejoicing at the mandate to stay home and cancel all the things, but there’s no denying the days we are living in right now feel very strange. It’s amazing how quickly everything can change. It’s sobering to realize how close we are to the line where we have to trust God and not our security and comforts.

But we can trust God. And you CAN enjoy this time. You can catch up on all those things you always say you just don’t have time to do. Read. Cook. Bake. Clean. Walk. Relax. Play games with your family. Plant a garden. Tend your trees and bushes. Organize, purge.

Sit still. Be still enough for long enough that you start to hear the still small voice. God is still speaking. We just have such a hard time listening. And what else would God be saying, in allowing this virus to make such a global impact, that it is time to be still and listen to him. To trust him to take care of us. We have been taking care of ourselves for so long that we have forgotten the rich blessing it is to entrust an unknown future to the God who is already there, and who loves us enough to bring us through it.

Some verses for your first day of the new normal, at least for the next couple weeks, and maybe longer:

Deuteronomy 31:6 - “Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them; for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.”

Isaiah 26:3 – “You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast because they trust in you.”

Isaiah 41:10 – “So do not fear, for I am with you, do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”

Psalm 46:10 – “Be still and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.”

John 14:26-27 – “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.”

God’s got this, friends. Let’s take him at his word and not be panicked or worried. Let’s do the opposite of hoarding and looking out for ourselves. Let’s give and watch out for others around us. Let’s be like Jesus. He didn’t back down when he had an opportunity to show extreme love.

We don’t have to, either. We’ve got his resurrection power running through our veins if we know him. More than enough to take this on.

What about you? How are you coping with the increasing restrictions and uncertainties? What Bible verses are you relying on right now? What ideas are you implementing to be the hands and feet of Jesus during this difficult time?

Check back tomorrow! I'll give you my best tips on homeschooling that I've learned in twelve years as a homeschooling mom. I'm definitely no expert, but I can give you some tips that will help the task seem a little less daunting. 

The Cure for Coronavirus

The world we live in can be a strange place. All you have to do is read the headlines to know it. On our own, human beings have the capacity to make brilliant strides, do wonderful things that spring society forward… but as a group, we’re sheep.

For example, there’s not one person perpetrating the panic surrounding the newest virus. At least not that I can see. In fact, I see plenty of people trying to calm down the unrest with common sense. And yet, nearly every other article when scrolling through a news site suggests the threat of the world being wiped out by the Coronavirus.

I read an article recently that suggested that our DNA contains memories. That we, on some subconscious level, retain the experiences of our ancestors. If say, a pandemic spread across the world and killed five percent, or even as much as twenty-five percent of the planet at times in history when our capacity to treat it and our understanding of how viruses worked was not as advanced, according to this theory, our DNA remembers what that was like, and doesn’t want it to happen again.

I’m speaking of the pandemics of the Spanish flu in 1918, which killed around 50 million people and infected half a billion, and the Black Death, which killed as much as a quarter of the world’s population, wiping out half of Europe. When you look at it from that perspective it makes sense, then, that we get a little worked up as a species when a virus comes knocking. We’ve seen their capabilities.

But as individuals, I like to think we have a little more sense. I’ve had the flu quite a few times in my life, and never once did I imagine I was actually dying. I may have wanted to because of how bad I felt, but never did I think my life was in danger. In fact, I generally don’t get around to getting a flu shot most of the time. And judge if you like, but I know I’m not alone. As individuals, we kinda think we’re invincible.

But again, as a whole, we tend to blindly follow whatever panic and hype we hear. We’ll run to the store to load up on cleaning supplies and face masks and survival rations, because some newscaster somewhere said that the world was facing a pandemic and people were dying right and left. Why? Why do we overreact as a society?

I would suggest it’s not just our DNA remembering. I think we’re all quite aware, even as reckless as we may behave sometimes, that we ARE dying. Every last one of us. And if we’re too young and healthy for this round of sickness to get us, that doesn’t mean a few years down the road we won’t be a prime target.

So if you think about it this way, we’re all trying to escape death, which the Bible explains happens because of sin. And we can run all we want, but unless God says differently, everyone on this planet will someday return to the dirt. It’s inescapable. It’s the price of a piece of forbidden fruit that unleashed the curse that will eventually wipe out 100% of everyone ever born. And we all know it, way down deep in our heart.

The good news is that we don’t have to panic on an individual level. And we surely don’t have to spread panic. We can share common sense advice, like the benefits of elderberry or vitamin C, sneezing into our arm and of course, washing our hands for twenty seconds with soap and water just like our mommas taught us. But more than that, we can share the hope for the curse. The cure that is as 100% effective as the curse is deadly. It’s Jesus.

I’d say that’s a reason not to panic. He’s got this. He’s got me. He has held me in his hands since I first realized I needed a Savior, and I’d argue he was holding me well before that as well. There’ll never be a moment in this life I have to face without a Savior who loves me enough he took the curse on himself, even though he could exist outside it, and not only did he let the curse kill him, he beat it. He came back. And as he did, he was saying something to every last one of us stuck in the grip of the black death we call sin.

Whoever believes in me will not perish, but have everlasting life.

You can bet your life on it.

When comes the Spring

A Light exists in Spring

Not present on the Year

At any other period –

When March is scarcely here.

-Emily Dickinson

As of yet, there is hardly a whisper of spring here. Some days are cold, rainy and dreary, some are very cold and frosty, some are merely dreary. Dreary seems to be the word that comes to mind the most when looking out the window in the morning, hoping to see signs of life emerging in the forever gray winter.

My baby plants wait patiently in their little nursery on my kitchen counter, nestled between homeschool books and art projects. They don't worry that spring will never come. They aren't sighing at the weather day after day, wishing that the first warm breeze of spring would blow through and wake up nature once again to life and vitality.

Would that I could be more like those little plants, trusting in the warmth of their grow light and the moisture from the spray bottle and their little paper cups that keep them safe. Spring will come, they insist. One day soon, there will be no more need for a heat mat that keeps the temperature at 75 degrees. 

You are looking at the first plants that have emerged that will become part of my garden this year. I have flowers and herbs and vegetables and fruit, all with a particular purpose for the garden I hope to grow. Some will be food. Some will attract valuable insects. Some will repel pests. Some will feed the chickens my daughter is hoping to get next month. Some will make teas and herbs I hope will be helpful to a few of the specific ailments my family tends to experience.

This is only my second year growing completely from seed. I learned last year that I do not need to attempt to plant the whole bag of seeds. They will grow. With the haul I purchased this year, I hope to have no need for more for several years. Beyond that, I hope to be able to save seeds and become a self-sufficient gardener.

In the meantime, I have two places I purchase seeds from. Baker seeds (rareseeds.com) prides themselves on providing heirloom seeds that continue on the legacy of our ancestors with seeds that have not been meddled with by science. They are the plant as they have always been. Baker sends out a free magazine with all their seeds early in the year, and it's fun to look through. They have things I've never even heard of before! I get seeds from Baker that I can't get through my local heirloom seed provider. I like getting the more common seeds locally. I think plants do better when they grown in their native climate.

So for now, my plants are beginning to grow, and I continue to watch the weather and dream about spring. Much work comes, though now I can't even bear to go outside for the cold. Someday. Someday spring will be here, and a garden that has only been a dream will come to life.

Reminds me of other truths. Someday, they will come true as well. God means to keep all his good promises to his people. We can trust that one day will we look back from our future lives and see all he did, and barely remember the dreary, cold years that produced no fruit and provided no nourishing warmth. One day it will all be a memory.

A Garden Dream

The day is as dreary as the last one, and the one before that. I spend most of the day wrapped in a big blanket, a sweater, fleece leggings... it's hard to imagine a time when I wasn't cold.

Will it be winter forever? Are we stuck in an endless succession of cold, bare, gray days?

Thankfully, I reminded of the verse in Genesis 8.

As long as the world exists, there will be a time for planting and a time for harvest. There will always be cold and heat, summer and winter, day and night.

If our world is still in motion, if the last day of the world is not upon us, than we can be sure that the cold of winter will pass. Warmth will once again bring the sleeping plants to life again, and it will be time to plant. To harvest.

Praise the Lord for the seasons. To teach us that no matter what we're facing, it's temporary. Nothing lasts forever. Times of sunshine and abundance will pass, but so will the times when the earth lays bare and dead.

A reminder of our very existence. The hard days, even if they lasted a lifetime, which they rarely do, are still going to pass by and be forgotten in the expanse of a perfect eternity.

My thoughts are turning to my garden. On my new 5 acre property, I have space and solitude for the garden I've always dreamed of. No longer will I try to make something of the little bit of earth in my backyard, surrounded on all sides by houses.

My first plan I presented to my husband in excitement was a garden of 50 ft by 20 ft. I was dazzled by the amount of space I could have to plant. The abundant harvest I would bring in. He gently questioned whether it was the best idea to start THAT big. At first I was miffed. He was just trying to step all over my dream.

It didn't take me long to realize he was probably right. So I modified my 2020 garden and came up with this plan. (I used https://gardenplanner.almanac.com/ to create my custom size blank square foot garden.)

Even though I broke it down by more than half, my starter garden is still going to be almost bigger than my imagination could fill. I can almost see the reality that will emerge from my organized little drawing. The plants, breaking out in neat rows from the soil, the paths of straw I will wander as I tend the seedlings and later the fruit they will produce.

Since I'm starting from scratch, I thought it might be helpful to record the journey. I plan to keep a record of what we do this year in our garden for those who are thinking of starting their own kitchen garden. Subscribe or follow my fb page for updates!

While the earth still sleeps, here's a few places that are helping me dream (and spend some money!)

https://www.starkbros.com/

https://www.rareseeds.com/

https://ohioheirloomseeds.com/

My first update:

Last fall I planted two elderberry bushes, a cherry tree and two apple trees as whips (unbranched tree seedlings.) Right now they aren't much to look at, but I'll keep you posted!

I also have two blueberry bushes and a brown turkey fig in big pots. I'm still undecided as to if and when I will transplant them into the ground. I discovered I have wild raspberry bushes growing by the outbuilding, and I've started a big compost pile.

What about you? Do you have any garden plans this year? Any tips and tricks as we start thinking about starting our seeds in the next month or two?

Happy garden dreaming!

Is it Possible to Thrive with Autoimmune Issues?

When I was a child, I had a pediatrician I loved. Her name was Dr. Valencia, and she was the sweetest and most opinionated little Filipina lady you could ever meet. She saw me through my problems with asthma and allergies, and was probably credited with saving my life a time or two. Every time I went in to see her, she would sit behind her desk and lean back and talk to me like she had all the time in the world.

“Listen to your mother,” she demanded over and over. “You’ll regret it if you don’t listen to your parents.”

After puberty when I began to have the symptoms of autoimmune problems, she had no idea what was wrong with me. And since we were in a small rural community, pretty far away from any city of any size, there wasn’t anyone she could send me to in order to get to the bottom of it. So she did her best to treat my symptoms. And though she couldn’t diagnose what was ailing me, her care went a long way in seeing me through.

As a young adult, after moving to a city, I was able to be diagnosed and treated for ulcerative colitis. I respected and trusted my gastroenterologist. Dr. Subler followed all the traditional protocols of lots of procedures and tests and medications as treatment for this autoimmune disease, but I lived with the less than ideal results because I liked him. I would come into his office, and he would sit and talk to me about life. We would share what we were going through. He always cared about what I was experiencing and wanted to alleviate any suffering I was having. I never doubted that for a second.

After Dr. Subler moved away, I had two more gastroenterologists I loved. They cared about me, they did their best, and I trusted them.

Unfortunately, they both left the practice as well. And I entered the decade of my pregnancies, which for me caused my ulcerative colitis to all but disappear. If I began to have problems, after a little research and a few supplements and diet and lifestyle changes, I seemed to have everything under control. I thought I had figured out the cure, and I was set for life.

But my success didn’t last. When the positive effects of reproduction began to wear off a few years ago, I went back in search of a doctor. Because that’s what you do. But I found in the years I’d been having babies, things had begun to change in the world of specialists. I was suddenly in a production line of patients, being pushed through a factory-like list of procedures. When I would try to discuss the realities of autoimmune disease and the fact that medications and tests don’t work, I would be quickly dismissed or lectured at. When I would put off making appointments, I would get a letter saying I was being dismissed as a patient for not following the will of the doctor. Disheartened, I went my own way to take on the responsibility of autoimmune disease on my own, as so many like me have done.

Autoimmune disease is hard. It’s hard to figure out what to do, because what might work at one point may not work again in the future. And there are so many variables that we have no personal control over, like the weather or stress or environment. We can do everything right, and yet still suffer.

My symptoms intensified in the past couple years, and dragging my feet all the way, I went back to the doctor at the urging of my husband. I found a wonderful GP, actually a friend from church going all the way back to our teenage years. And once again I was sitting in the room with a doctor who truly cared, who wanted to help, who didn’t mind sitting and listening and taking her time to carefully decide how to proceed. She sent me to a new gastroenterologist we both hoped would be a better fit than the last one.

In July of last year, I called to make the first appointment. I waited two months to actually see the doctor. When I arrived in her office, I was greeted by an unfamiliar doctor, a young man who told me it was his first day as an intern. He was friendly enough, but he simply read through a list of questions. He went to confer with the doctor, who literally stepped into the examination room for five minutes. She gave me a checklist of tests that she would be performing that I should schedule, and brushed off my concerns about my inability to prepare for one of them. She was gone in a flurry of white.

Months went by as I waited for the tests she wanted done. (One of them was canceled once because she was taking a vacation to Europe.) In the end, by December, I had finally completed them (and was completely right about my inability to adequately be prepared for one of them, through no lack of trying.) Her verdict was sent to me via email. I was to take meds (that I had already told her I don’t see any results from.) She would no longer be seeing me (no explanation given) and suggested I call three other doctors for further treatment.

If this wasn’t discouraging enough, the bills from the two procedures she had prescribed (that she had barely addressed the results of) ended up costing us over $1000 after insurance paid all they were of a mind to pay.

And I was back at square one, with no improvement in my health after six months of pursuing traditional medical help.

Why do I tell my story? Because I hate doctors and the medical field and believe that we should depend completely on herbs and oils and vegetables for our health? Not at all. I still have had far more experience with caring people in the medical field than I have had negative. And beyond that, I’ve gone the other way and went to an integrative doctor who tried to treat my problems through supplements and diet changes, and though I did everything she instructed over a period of several years, I saw very little improvement in my health. And the reality was that insurance didn’t like paying for her services, either.

So what’s the answer for those of us with bodies who can’t seem to tolerate life? Who have conflicting health concerns that sometimes make us feel as if we are going completely crazy? Are there any solid answers for living with autoimmune conditions?

I’m not claiming to have any concrete answers that will change our lives. I think part of having an autoimmune disease is coming to the conclusion that our lives will always be more difficult than others’.

We will not be able to do it all. We will have to rest, stay home, be still, avoid stress and eat a strict diet.

We will have to learn to depend on our own good choices and research. We will have to find out, by trial and error, what helps and what makes no difference.

We will have to be disciplined to keep our bodies in shape even when the thought of moving makes us want to cry.

We will have to patient when flares interrupt our plans, our dreams, and cause us to disappoint those we love.

We will have to find something greater to live for than health. We will have to learn to smile and move on when others tell us we just aren’t trying hard enough, or we are unwilling to be helped.

This life is hard. Autoimmune disease is one way the darkness of this world is revealed. Our world and our bodies are wearing out. We are beginning to understand the verse in the Bible that says all of creation is groaning, waiting for God to make everything right.

But that being said, we can persevere. Autoimmune disease is no excuse to curl up in a ball and give up on everything. Pressing against adversity is what makes us stronger, both mentally and physically. Our despair shouldn’t go on continually or become a habit. At some point we must pick ourselves up, claim God’s promises that he will sustain us and accomplish his purposes for us, and we must go on and defy the odds.

Some practical advice that is likely to do some amount of good: 

Eat God made foods. 

Eat in balance. 

Take rests from eating.

Drink water. 

Be in the sunlight and fresh air as much as you can. 

Move every day, and increase the intensity of your movement little by little. 

Find your passion. 

Be still and hear God’s voice, and tell him your every thought and feeling. 

Rest. 

Find ways to declutter your schedule and have more down time. 

Enjoy relationships and pursue what is inspiring. 

Make deliberate steps to avoid the stress and chaos of this overcomplicated and greedy society. 

Live for others. 

Show compassion and mercy. 

Wherever you are, ask what you can do to improve it.

Autoimmune disease probably won’t be cured without an act of God. But we can learn to exist anyway. To fully live. Don’t let it be an excuse that causes you to give up or become bitter.

What about you? Do you have any ways of coping with autoimmune problems? Have you found anything that helps? Share in the comments. And thank you for reading! I pray God’s best for you in this new year!

Five Goals for a Healthier and Happier 2020

Ah, the first week of January. When we look in horror at our Christmas pictures and realize we are not what we had thought. When we begin to appreciate how the end of the year can gradually dull our senses to healthy choices. When we realize we haven’t had time or energy to exercise in weeks. So out comes the notebook and down go the resolutions that we want with all our heart to keep.

One of my resolutions is to devote more time to this website. I’ve begun a new life in the country, and I am eagerly anticipating discovering the art of creating a more sustainable, more independent, healthier lifestyle based on simplicity, work ethic and learning to be still and hear God’s voice more clearly in such a frantic world. I plan to record my journey of this first year here for anyone who is contemplating similar goals.

I’ve made a few intentional changes I’m going to share with you in this post. This is a list of easy way you can begin to make different choices that will seem small, but over the years will cause an impact in our world – one you can be sure will make life just a little better for your children and grandchildren. These are goals I have already implemented and have found to be straightforward and doable. Even if you aren’t in a place to do all five, you could pick one or two to start. Any move forward is a step in the right direction.

But why do we want to become better stewards of our bodies and our world? Does it really matter what we do? Does God care about the way we take care of our bodies, our homes, our land?

The Bible says in Psalm 24 “The earth is the Lord’s, and everything in it, the world, and all who live in it” (NIV). That means this world and all that it contains, and our very bodies and minds and souls belong to the God who created us. So it’s God who gets to say whether it’s okay for us to fill up a Texas-sized trash heap in the ocean or fill our bodies with all manner of convenience and junk food and irresponsibly made products. 

And do we really need to debate what God would rather for us? He gave us such a large and vibrant variety of plants and animals and materials with which to build our lives. What are we missing in settling for the easy substitutes? Even if it is just one small step at a time, I believe God is honored when we make progress back to his original design for us.

So here are ten ideas to get you started on your own journey to a more intentional existence:

1       REDUCE TRASH.

·       Recycle your recyclables. Most cities implement some kind of recycling program now. If you live in the country like I do and don’t have recycling pick-up, we found a recycling drop off two miles down the road at the fire station. We keep a big leaf-recycling bag next to the back door and throw all our recyclable material in it. Once in a while we throw it all in the back of the van and drive it down to the fire station. It isn’t a big deal when it becomes habit.

·       Try to buy things not contained in plastic. Buy a few reusable recycled bags at your grocery store and get in the habit of taking them with you every time. Choose your own fruits and veggies and put them in THESE REUSABLE NETTED BAGS. Our society uses a ridiculous amount of packaging for everything and anything, but be mindful of it. Check for places at Lowes, the library, the fire station or the grocery store that have drop offs for recycling things like plastic grocery bags or batteries. Once again, it’s just about making it a habit. If you can’t avoid it, at least try to reuse it. I reuse Aldi's deli meat tubs for other purposes, as well as jelly and salsa jars (to make my own.) I ordered a few of THESE REUSABLE ZIPLOC BAGS and I like them a lot. They’re easy to rinse out and hang over the teapot or the kitchen faucet to dry overnight.

·       Start a compost pile. I have THIS LITTLE BUCKET I keep under the kitchen sink to collect scraps. Things like paper towel and toilet paper tubes, egg cartons and cardboard boxes can be broken down and tossed into a compost pile. Egg shells, fruit and veggie waste, banana peels and coffee grounds are all great additions to make a compost pile of your own and save money on that compost you have to buy every year when you garden. In the country, it’s easy to find a corner to start tossing your compost, but you may have to be a little more creative in the city or a neighborhood.

·       Be more mindful of what you buy. Do you really need it? Will you use it long-term? Is there something you already have that might work in its place?

2       MINIMALIZE.

·       There is something freeing and truly wonderful in getting rid of the excess. When we moved, I was dismayed by all the junk we’d collected in twenty years. And when I really asked myself if it was necessary, I was able to part with quite a bit of stuff. I’m not where I want us to be yet, but I plan to spend this year carefully combing through every cabinet, shelf and closet and seeking out the things we don’t need that are cluttering our existence and keeping us from finding the truly useful possessions we have. Clothes you don’t wear, books you already read, kitchen appliances you never used, extra sheets, blankets, pillows, toys or décor you thought might come in useful at some point but it just never became necessary – these are the things you should part with. Take them to Good Will, have kidney services pick them up, sell them in a garage sale or ask around and find someone who can use them. You won’t miss them.

3       STAY HOME.

·       One of the things that makes our society so stressful and crazy is the fact that most of us don’t spend much time in our home. Between job and school and extracurriculars, church activities, doctor and dentist appointments, play dates, field trips, vacations, family visits, clubs, sports, entertainment and shopping, we can find excuses to be gone all day every day.

Are these bad things? Not necessarily, depending on our reasons for pursuing them. But can they take over our lives? For sure. You don’t necessarily need to follow a doctor’s or dentist’s schedule for visiting them. Remember, they are interested in the money they can make to sustain their business, so your health is not their only concern. You can find a more reasonable schedule that you are comfortable with, even if it means making routine visits less often and pursuing lifestyle and diet changes first when you notice a non-emergency problem creeping up in your body. Take responsibility for your health instead of being dependent on the system to stay healthy. Make conscious choices like exercise, moderation and balance in your diet and plenty of sleep and stress-relieving activities. You’ll find you need to go to the doctor less, and that time you save will be yours to spend in another way, maybe doing something at home to build a better environment for your family.

Consider only allowing your family to have one extracurricular activity going on at once. It won’t always work out, but kids don’t need to have constant activity to have a full childhood. They need to time to play, to be still, to be bored. Restricting their organized activities will be good for them, even as good as restricting their electronics time. Teach your kids how to be busy at home instead of constantly on the move.

Don’t be afraid to say no, even if an activity you’re being pulled into is a good one. Be choosy with the things you allow to steal the precious moments of your life. If something isn’t going to matter much in a few days or weeks or especially at the end of your life – don’t let it take too much time. If it must be done, learn to do it efficiently and as fast as you can, and try to multitask these activities together as much as possible. Delegate jobs to kids as well, even if they won’t do something as well as you would. They’ll get better with practice.

If you don’t have time every day to be still, to study God’s Word, to read, to be quiet and contemplate the world God has made for us, you’re too busy. These are the things God wants to be priorities in your life. Protect your time.

4      MEET NEEDS.

·       It’s easy to get stuck in our own world, do our own routine. We get so focused on our agenda we don’t see the people just outside our zone. Make a few intentional decisions to give your time, money, energy and compassion to those in need. Find a shelter in your area and sign up to help serve a meal. Volunteer at places like the Ronald McDonald House to do laundry or clean rooms. Make blessing bags to hand out to people with signs you may pass at stoplights. Join a mentoring program or volunteer to teach English to people who have moved to your area from other countries. Look around at your neighbors and see who might need a helping hand. Be others-minded, and willing to drop what you are doing to help someone else. The reward you receive for such acts of sacrifice is undeniable. You won’t be sorry.

5       PLANT A GARDEN OR AN ORCHARD.

·       There’s nothing like growing your own food. I’ve had a garden for years, but this year I’m excited to begin a bigger, more intentional garden to grow most of our vegetables and herbs for the year. Even so, a small garden still pays off. Not only do you have food you didn’t have to buy, you learn lessons by interacting closely with God’s creation, and you can teach kids how the elemental processes of creation actually work. This year I plan to have a lot of info about what it takes to get a garden going, so stay tuned. Beyond that, though, there are so many you tube and other resources out there. You probably won't have a question or roadblock you could come across that wouldn’t have an answer online or in a book (check your online library search system.)

      Want to start from seed? Check out Baker seeds or Ohio Heirloom Seeds. For planting trees, I've had great experiences with Stark Brothers.

So there are my five top ways to make some changes in your life for 2020. If you have other ideas, leave a comment to share them. If you have tried any of these and have tips to share, please do so!

I pray we will have a quieter, more intentional, more meaningful year and decade to come.

“That we may live peaceful and quiet lives in all godliness and holiness.

This is good, and pleases God our Savior.”

– 1 Timothy 2:2-3

*contains affiliate links

A Christmas Pause

If you hadn't noticed, it's Christmas. There isn't snow on the ground, but the wrapping of too many gifts and the baking of too many goodies and the hustle of shopping for last minute forgotten items tells me the season is really here. Busyness is trying to war with my worship today. I need to remember what this is all about. I need to focus on the entire reason this season is so special. The BEST gift. 

Without this gift, I'd be nothing, have nothing, possess no hope for the future. I'd be swallowed up and eaten alive by anxiety. I'd be no good at all to my family and friends. I'd have nothing to write about.

In Jesus, I have everything. I have peace, anticipation of future promises, strength for today, joy in the simplicity of everything this life can be. 

I'm sharing a scene from my latest biblical fiction novel. I hope it gives you a moment to pause and consider in a new way the age-old message of Christmas. 

EXCERPT FROM MY BROTHER THE KING...

***

“Daughters, come near,” Yosef said weakly from his pallet on the floor. He had been thrashing back and forth all evening. The girls had been huddled in the corner together, watching his face grow white and his desperate breathing become a tell-tale rattle in his chest. They knew death, and they knew their father was close to it.

They came to him and kneeled beside him. Talia buried her head in Yosef’s tunic, crying.

“Save your tears for mourning, little Talia. I want to go to Sheol with the memories of your beautiful smiles.”

“Please don’t go, Abba,” Talia begged as she tried to stop her tears. Her sobs only grew deeper.

“Be silent so I can speak,” Abba said tenderly, lifting a trembling hand to Talia’s cheek. When she quieted, he spoke again. “When I am gone, little lambs, you must do something for me.”

“Anything, Abba,” Hannah leaned over him and squeezed his arm. “Just say the words.”

Yosef smiled at her and reached a hand to smooth back the hair from her face. “Little Hannah. Only eight years on this earth and you wish to be a grown woman. Don’t be in such a hurry. Womanhood will come all too soon.”

“Amen,” Hannah said without thinking. She took his other hand. “May you be there to see me as a woman.”

“I will not be there,” Yosef said decidedly. “I want my daughters to be strong. Help your Ama in her grief.”

They hesitated, exchanging glances, then nodded.

“Whatever happens, you must both follow Yeshue. Not only in matters relating to the family, for he will be the head of this house, but in all things. He is the M’sheekha, and you must follow him.”

Yosef’s voice became urgent, almost as a plea, as the spirit ebbed away behind his warm brown eyes. “I have told your brothers the same.”

“Yes, Abba,” they both said in unison.

“If only I had the time to tell you…” Yosef’s voice faded and Hannah thought he had died. A cold chill spread over her.

“I must speak to Yeshue,” he said suddenly, squeezing their hands with his little remaining strength. “Send in the one they call my son.”

They sprang up from his pallet, crying as they descended the ladder and ran to find Yeshue. Hannah found him in the courtyard, sitting against the wall, his head in his hands. She was not sure if he was praying, or crying, or both.

“Abba asks for you,” she said. He jumped at the sound of her voice, as if he’d been surprised by her voice. Very rarely did anyone surprise Yeshue. He must have been deep in thought.

He stood and motioned for her to come to him. He kissed her head. “Go to your sister, Hannah. She will need you to hold her while she grieves.”

Hannah nodded, a lump in her throat.

“You are a strong one. A brave girl.” He squeezed her shoulders before he went to Yosef.

Instead of going to Talia, Hannah followed Yeshue back into the house. She sat in the doorway and listened to their words. She had to strain her ears to hear Abba’s words over Ama’s sniffling.

“Son, my time has come,” Yosef said. 

Yeshue said nothing. After a moment, he nodded.

“I know we haven’t spoken of it in a long time, but I want to remind you of your birth. Make sure you understand.”

Hannah would have laughed if it had been any other circumstance. Yosef and Maryam had talked often of Yeshue’s birth. Sometimes Hannah wondered if they could speak of anything else.

“I understand, Abba.” Hannah heard Yeshue’s soft answer.

“Ah, let an old man speak his memories,” Yosef chuckled, which made him cough.

“If he must,” Yeshue sat down on the stool made by Yosef’s own hands. “I will be glad to listen.”

“You indulge me,” Yosef said, and Yeshue chuckled in response.

“Your mother was the most beautiful girl in town. Have I told you that? Long dark hair, shiny brown eyes full of innocence…”

“You describe every young woman I can think of, Abba,” Yeshue teased him mildly.

 Yosef reached a hand to lightly slap Yeshue’s arm. “You are employed here only as a listener.”

Yeshue nodded and bowed his head in deference.

“I was taken with her from the moment I arrived in town. You know I came from Bethlehem, but our family had come to Nazareth for the wedding of my cousin. We ended up staying for several weeks, and I wanted her for my wife, if her father could be convinced to let her marry an old bachelor.”

“An old bachelor at twenty-four. You wound me. I hadn’t realized at twenty-five I was useless and elderly.”

Yosef wheezed a short laugh. “Well, I seemed an old bachelor to Maryam. She was barely thirteen. But there was something about her. Wisdom beyond her years. She wasn’t flighty or silly as the other young women. She had a peace about her I found very attractive.”

“As you should have.” Yeshue looked at his mother across Yosef’s pallet and nodded.

“I decided not to ask for her, though. Surely she deserved better than a poor carpenter.”

“What made you change your mind?”

“In the end I didn’t need to. Her father’s olive crop was destroyed by flies and they had no money to pay the tax. He would have had to sell her to save the little ones, so I paid the bride price. He asked me to wait a year before I took her to my home because she was so young, and I agreed.

“Not two months after this, Maryam was visited by the angel.”

“Gabriel,” Yeshue said with a nod. Almost like he spoke of an old friend.

“Imagine my shock when she came to me with wild stories of angels and heavenly messages. I pulled her aside to hear what nonsense she had dreamed up. When she told me she was going to have a baby, my blood ran cold.”

Hannah sneaked into the animal shelter underneath the floor. She watched them through a small hole in the floor of the upper story. She knew her parents would make her leave if they knew she was listening to such a conversation. But she was intensely curious about the part of the story no one would speak about when she was around. Her brother Y’hud played nearby, banging on a pot with all his strength. She glared at him, and he gave her a toothy smile.

“You did well to hear her out,” Yeshue said.

“I was like one possessed,” Yosef continued, his voice softer and weaker. “I wanted to rage and find the man who had defiled her. I would give him justice. But she went on about how the baby would be born of the Spirit of Alaha. He would be the M’sheekha.”

“Did you believe her?”

“Yeshue, surely you know every woman who has come to be with child in the last four hundred years has claimed to be carrying the M’sheekha.”

Yeshue smiled. “Ah, but it is true.”

“Well, I marched her right back to her father’s home and left her there, too angry to say a word. Then I paced the rest of the day, trying to decide what to do.”

“You did well not to have her publicly shamed.”

“I did not want to run ahead of Adonai.” Yosef closed his eyes, his words slurring as he tried to gather strength to finish the tale. Yeshue put his hand on the older man’s arm, and the gesture gave Yosef strength to continue.

“I was going to put her away from me without anyone knowing. I wanted her life to be spared, at least. I thought maybe the father was a Roman soldier that had cornered her and taken advantage of her innocence. Maybe she’d come up with the angel story to cover the horror of what had happened.”

“You were a man of integrity, thinking the best of her.”

Yosef shook his head. “A good man would have stood by her and believed her story. Alaha had to send an angel to me before I would accept it.”

“You did, though. You didn’t question after that.”

“No, I didn’t. How could I question the word of Adonai?”

Yosef was quiet for a long time. When Hannah thought maybe he had died, he suddenly spoke again. “I am going to die.”

Hannah expected Yeshue to disagree—to urge Yosef to fight the illness and stay with them. After all, he had eight children and other relatives to care for. What would their family be without him?

“I know.” Hannah heard the catch in Yeshue’s voice and imagined the tears swimming in his eyes.

“You will be head of this house.”

“I understand.”

“Do you have any questions? Do you know what to do for the girls when they come of age? Do you understand how to balance family and the business, and still have time for your studies?”

“I think so,” Yeshue said simply. 

Yosef nodded, visibly relaxing in the quiet confidence of his eldest son. “Don’t misunderstand me. I know you are here for a higher purpose than looking after the poor family of a tekton. You must be about your Father’s business, as you have reminded me.”

The words didn’t make sense to Hannah.

“I will do what I have come to do,” Yeshue promised.

“No man has ever left his family in better care. That I should be so blessed…”

Her father’s voice trailed off, and moments later, she heard the wails of her mother begin. Yeshue gathered his mother in his arms and wept with her.

***

This has been an excerpt from my novel "My Brother the King." I pray it allows your heart space to think and worship this Christmas on the wonder of everything our Savior was - even a simple son and a brother.