Why I am not Concerned about the Winner

It's fairly obvious that most of the country is caught up with election fever. Phones ringing off the hook, a solid mass of political ads on television or online. People debating back and forth on facebook and twitter. Everyone sure that they are so obviously inspired in their own thinking and ashamed of anyone with the opposite view.

I've been accused of not caring. I've been accused of being politically indifferent because I'm avoiding the issues and afraid of conflict. While that might contain a sliver of truth, it's not likely to change. And overall, I feel justified in my neutral position.

When I say neutral, I don't really mean neutral. I will not deny that I lean toward conservatism in that I find it ridiculous to assume that spending more money, money we don't have as a country will somehow make us stronger. I do feel strongly that we are setting up a big problem for our children by pretending that these decisions don't have repercussions that will be felt for many years to come. AND YET, do I think that is one person or one party's fault? No. I think it's the result of a nation that has thought for too long that we were entitled to happiness and security within a broken world.

But that financial position is my deepest political conviction. And I must say that as a conservative and a "Christian," I find myself ashamed of some of those who claim the same adjectives to describe themselves. Wielding a sword of so-called non-negotiable issues such as the legality of abortion and the definition of marriage provide a place of refuge from reality for people who are willing to make bold statements and call them truth, but not willing to back up their opinions with any sort of action to prove it.

What do I mean? I see a very lazy portion of God's church in this world, especially in this country. Quick to denounce anyone who suggests that the government is not responsible to strictly adhere to biblical truth, when the government is not made up of people who even claim to belong to Christ. Keeping women out of abortion clinics will never happen by trying to force government to make it illegal or by protesting and shaming the people who are involved. Women will stay out of abortion clinics if they are loved by people that are filled with God's spirit and selfless enough to enter the messy world of other people's heartaches and struggles. When "Christians" are willing to love another person enough to provide for their most basic needs, to listen to them, to stand beside in the hardest of times, we will see a difference in the number of lives that are cut short by abortion. 

Likewise, I find it absurd that the same lazy portion of God's people think that marriage is even capable of being defined by a governmental system. When did God make such a statement? When did he bemoan the necessity of a government backing up his own ideas? God is still God no matter the state of government-approved unions in America. How did we get the idea that a picket line with such godless statements as "God hates gays" would prove God's unconditional love and rescue plan in Christ? I hate to break it to fellow "Christians," but God loves the gay person as much as he loves you. A gay person is just as welcome at the foot of the cross as someone who is not. And the only way that person will see Christ's love is through his church getting over themselves and again - loving people, providing for people, and listening to people who struggle and sin. For the person who has been saved by the grace of Jesus, who has the Spirit empowering everything he does and says, who is connected to the church and accountable to other believers - sin is possible to slowly and methodically eradicate. For the person who does not yet know the truth - conquering sin may well be impossible. How can I judge someone else's choices when I know I would struggle and in fact do struggle on occasion with my own areas of sin that sometimes seem too big for me, even with God's Spirit within me?

So, in the end, I look at these two people who want to be president. They are both decent people who love their families and believe in our country and desire for us to continue to be a beacon of hope in the world. They both have ideas that are questionable, and they both have good ideas. That's why we have the system of government that we do. Our fail safe is that we have many different people with different opinions working together to come up with plans that keep our country strong. We are all accountable to each other, and we are all flawed in our own ways. No president that comes out of the masses of humanity will ever be perfect, or will ever be the savior of the world. 

That position has already been filled. 

So rest easy, vote the best way your conscience allows, and remember that whoever sits in the oval office has been allowed to hold that position by God. The Bible is clear on that fact. They deserve respect, they deserve your earnest prayers, but at the end of the day, they won't make or break our nation anymore than our unwillingness to get our hands dirty reaching out to the broken people in our paths.

Watch an Engineer Build a Playset

My crafty MacGyver has been busy since the beginning of August. He's been building the kids a swingset/playhouse in the backyard. They decimated the old one, so he decided that it was more practical to make his own from scratch so he could make it extra sturdy.

I think he succeeded. I'm fairly certain this thing is built better than our house.

Here's a fun little video of his progress. He makes it look so easy!

Watch an Engineer Build a Playset from scratch in 44 seconds HERE.

Bittersweet - October Flash Fiction #1

It’s the way of this life in its present state that every moment of bliss is infected with the reality of transience.

A mother held her two-year-old. She breathed in his freshly bathed scent. She stared at every line of his features, the softness of his skin that was quickly fading away the taller he grew. She marveled that once he had been so small, so helpless. Now he filled her lap and his long legs dangled at her side.

These moments didn’t come often.  She knew she should revel in it. She knew she should hold him tight while he was willing and savor every last moment of the time they had left as mama and baby.  She stared at the mound of laundry that waited for her attention. She thought of the tower of dishes. Not to mention the floors that must be swept and the grimy windows.

It wasn’t that she wanted to do those things more. She didn’t exactly relish accomplishing those things when she knew they would just as quickly be undone in the remaining hours of the day.

She supposed the truth was that the longer she sat there with him, the longer she felt his little frame within her arms and smiled at his lisp as he spoke quietly to her – the more it would hurt when his body decided it must move and he pulled himself away.

It made her throat thick to think of him growing up. Not needing her in this way anymore. But there simply was not an option to pause his life so that she might grow used to the idea of his childhood slipping through her fingers.

Oh, for the day when this little bit of bliss was eternal. When every beautiful moment she had ever known would be captured forever, and time would no longer be her demanding enemy.

He pulled away. Ran down the hall shouting gleefully with the carefree nature of youth.  She watched him go with a lingering pain in her being. But she was also thankful. For his life. For his health, his growth, and his changing mind and being. As much as it hurt to say goodbye to the sweet moments of her baby’s life, she knew sweet moments – different moments – would follow in the days to come.

For it was the way of this life.

Laura's Home

"Then pa looked straight at Laura and said, 'You girls keep away from the camp. When you go walking, don't go near where the men are working, and you be sure you're back here before they come in for the night. There's all kinds of rough men working on the grade and using rough language, and the less you see and hear of them the better. Now remember, Laura. And you too, Carrie. 'Pa's face was very serious.

'Yes, Pa' Laura promised, and Carrie almost whispered, 'Yes, Pa.' Carries eyes were large and frightened. She did not want to hear rough language,whatever rough language might be. Laura would have liked to hear some, just once, but of course she must obey Pa."

- Laura Ingalls Wilder (By the Shores of Silver Lake)

I spent my early years reading Laura's collection of memories in the "Little House" series over and over and over. I would say that she was probably one of the most significant influences on my thinking as a child, probably because I had quite a bit in common with her.

Recently on our family vacation, we were able to tour Laura's home in Missouri. This was her home until the day she died, the place she lived with her husband Almanzo and her daughter Rose; this was the place that she sat and wrote by hand all of her memories as a story for children at the insistence of Rose, who had already become a prominent author by that time.

There is something about Laura that speaks to us all. If we didn't grow up with her voice in our head as we read, then we saw the television series based on the books (very loosely based on the books) or we at least knew something basic about the little woman who grew up as a pioneer. But I thought of Laura as a dear friend. I think that was her intention when she sat down to write her stories.

So my daughter Spirit and I were elated to explore her home and the museum that housed the collection of her belongings, many straight from the pages of her books. We were captivated by the sight of Pa's fiddle, the "Give us this day our daily bread" plate that was saved from the fire that destroyed their home, the many pictures of their family and other mementos that meant something to anyone who was touched by her delightfully descriptive words in her books.

If you are ever in Mansfield, Missouri you must take some time out to see Laura's home and memories. Here are a few pictures for those who are unable to see it themselves.

"We'd never get anything fixed to suit us if we waited for things to suit us before we started."  -Laura Ingalls Wilder 

Laura Ingalls Wilder Home website

Possibilities

For a fairly optimistic person, it's not too surprising that I admit I am excited about the possibilities.

But I am. I feel something rising. I see a big hill coming and though I know it means some hard climbing, I'm feeling the rush of what the ride down will be like.

I'm taking some steps of faith that have been eight years in the making. There's an amazing wonder that comes right alongside of finding out whom you were always meant to be. Or at least taking another step toward the top.

My stomach is in knots. My heart is beating fast. But when I think of not taking the chance, not setting my sail to catch the wind... I know I have to. I would rather fail than wonder one day what might have been if I had only tried.

And so I try. And I can't say "here goes nothing." It wouldn't be true. Rather I tell you with all the conviction of my soul "here goes everything I have been through, every rabbit trail I was sidetracked on, all that has come into focus to be me in order that I might come to this inevitable conclusion."

Finding Balance

I'm going through an adolescent phase in my writing. Literally and figuratively.

I've just written this book. The other six books I have written were easier. They were the type of writing I'm most familiar with and very comfortable with. They fall safely in the Christian Fic genre.

Not so with my new baby. Earlier this year my mind got a hold of this idea and wouldn't let it go. Believe me, I argued about this with God. I said he was going to need to get this idea out of my head or I'd end up writing it. I said that I'd have to be true to the story and make it the kind of epic I love to read, and I said to do that I might have to put things in it that some people in my circles find objectionable. But the idea didn't go away, it just kept evolving. So I decided that I should try to write the kind of story that I love the most.

There was plenty of inspiration. I played off of a few of my favorites. Hunger Games, Harry Potter, Fringe, Firefly. I took general aspects of each that I loved and weaved them into a story. A story based loosely on a Bible story, but not a story that would fall neatly into the category of Christian fiction.

Science Fiction. Young adult science fiction with a healthy smattering of historical.

I know that if you just happened on this blog and don't know me from Adam... or Eve... you'd probably wonder why I'm making such a big deal about writing a science fiction book. But if you grew up with me, you might be nodding in understanding, or possibly judgment.

There's this weird unwritten rule that says that Christians should only read safe, holy Christian books. Even though the Bible is full of stories of people doing awful things. Still, Christians got this idea that they shouldn't ever consider evil.

This was the atmosphere I grew up in. It wasn't my parents, who are fairly free-thinkers for their generation and who enjoy the same sort of stories I do. I can't really say it was even a specific group of people - it was just this attitude that we all needed to put on our very best face, never admit to sin, and stay away from sinners and sinful entertainment and places. And the "sin" part was highly subjective. Quite a few rules made their way into my mind that I've yet to find a biblical basis for. So when you grow up like that, and you manage to look past it and know it's not truth, you find yourself on this swinging pendulum. You feel like you swing wildly either way and never find that balance in the middle between legalism and true wrong.

And so I find myself with the best story I've ever written. Doesn't mean it's ready, I have a lot of work to do now that I've written "The End." But is the thought of the editing what keeps me from sending out that query letter to the first ten agents on my list? Nope. It's the thought of people that I love reading it and thinking that I must not really be a Christian for writing such trash. I know there will inevitably be people that will think it's trash and say so, because they've already said it about a lot of the inspiration I used to write it.

I didn't write trash. I promise. But I let my characters be themselves. I let them do things that I wouldn't necessarily do if it furthered the story. And I threw a few things in there that Christians generally accept as sinful that I don't see in the Bible. My thinking was that if I could meet young adults where they are - try to capture their thinking and put it down on paper - maybe that would give them a place to wander back into the truth, if they aren't sure what the truth is. Maybe I could quietly and honestly give them a way to think about spiritual things without throwing a bunch of confusing and questionable rules in their faces.

I don't know if I've managed any of these things. Like I said, I need to get to work. But finding that balance is one of the struggles of people that have grown up in a pseudo-legalistic environment. The little voice in the back of your head that helps you know right from wrong isn't always God's voice. And the trick is learning to tell the difference.

Anyway, my ramblings for today. If anyone stuck with it this far, thanks. :)

Five Reasons to Keep Going

Being a writer is hard. Being a writer and trying to keep all the other balls in the air is even harder. That's why it's been advised that you shouldn't write unless you can't help it. Unless you would accidentally still spill words all over the page even if it were outlawed.

I'm in that group. And so it's been my journey to discover how to write without going insane. For example - to write you need hours of your day to be absolutely alone. Being a homeschooling mother of four kids under the age of eight definitely makes that a challenge. 

I'm also discovering how you manage writing in such a way that makes all the time you sacrifice worth it in the end. There are many definitions of the worth of writing, but my personal goal is to get to the place where my writing can enrich and entertain others. 

Here are five reasons to keep going if you find yourself in a similar place:

1. IT GETS EASIER.

It becomes more natural to get the words on the page the longer you've been at it. This is provided you are also devoting time to reading the type of books you want to write, and reading books about the writing craft by successful authors. (I highly recommend any by James Scott Bell.) But the more effort you put into learning, the more professional your writing begins to seem.

2. THERE ARE OTHERS OUT THERE LIKE YOU.

It's very easy for me to believe that I'm all alone. Especially since I spend a great deal of time alone, other than to care for my family. But when I read the author blogs or the see the Twitter and Facebook posts, I realize that there are other people out there that are similar to me. 

As a writer, the more you try to be your actual self, the more you realize that your thinking is just a little bit out there. But that's what makes a creative, curious personality able to accomplish the art of crafting stories with words that challenge and entertain. So embrace it, even if you get a few weird looks.

3. IT BECOMES MORE ENJOYABLE.

There are still days when writing is a chore. My creative ability waxes and wanes with how much sleep I've had and my present hormonal state. It's a fact of life, especially for women. So take advantage of the times when the story is exciting and real and seems to write itself through your fingertips. And push through when it doesn't. Write anyway, no matter what else is going on.

4. BIG DREAMS JUST TAKE MORE WORK.

My daughter likes to say "I can't" whenever I ask her to do something that takes effort to get done. This is an unacceptable phrase in our household. Because it isn't true. In fact, usually the more work something requires  the more worth doing it really is. Whatever your hands find to do, do it to the absolute extreme of your ability.

5. YOU ARE ACCOMPLISHING MORE THAN JUST WRITING SKILLS.

I don't know about others, but this comforts me. I've reached the point where my writing has become like a full time job. I spend time writing, researching, studying the craft at least six hours a day, usually more like eight. And it scares me a little when I think of how much time I could be wasting if I'm not in fact heading toward publication (aka validation!) 

But truthfully, there are no regrets. Learning to use my writing ability has been a valid pursuit, even if I never walk into a bookstore or a library and see my book sitting on the shelf. It has taught me perseverance, faith, self-discipline, and humility. I'm teaching my children that I am also responsible to work hard to achieve my dreams, just as I expect of them. 

So, no regrets. If you're a writer at heart and you have things to say, put in the effort and learn how to communicate them so someone will listen and benefit from them.