Why I Don't do NaNoWriMo

If you're not a writer or you haven't ever contemplated writing, you probably have no idea what NaNoWriMo is. You are excused from reading further.

If you are contemplating it or are busy getting ready for it, the purpose of this article is not to discourage you. I do not believe NaNoWriMo is evil or even bad. If it helps you get writing, and you are supposed to be writing, then it's a good thing for you. 

I'm only here to tell you why I've never done it or seriously considered it. You will probably be in one of two camps reading this. Either you will stridently agree (less likely) or you will be indignant with disagreement. I've never been the type of writer who fits the norm. I'm not the diligent and organized fiction writer who sits down with my neatly typed outline and writes my daily 500-2,000 words without a moment of angst or indifference.

I'm the writer who, even if she writes an outline, will almost always deviate so far from it that it's ridiculous to even attempt one. I'm the writer who has a mess of hurriedly scribbled notes and thoughts and research piled on the desk and beside it and littered around the rest of the house. I'm the writer who will stare desperately at the screen for two hours without writing a word, and the next day will feverishly write 10,000 words or more. I'm the writer who eats, sleeps, and dreams stories and words and adventures and aches to get them recorded so other people can share them. I'm the writer who hates the details, the business, the money. I would rather just write every waking moment.

And that is probably why the idea of a month to write one novel goes against my grain. To me, a novel begins in the recesses of my imagination where some image of a piece of art or words of a song or another story I read or saw causes some spark that ignites. It simmers for months or years. It slowly takes shape as I consider the characters and their desires and fears. Only when I am sure of who they are do I dare to begin to write. And from there, I may indeed write their story in a month or two. But it is far from done. That is where the real work begins of shaping and molding the words into something pleasing and good.

That's the problem I have with the extreme excess of published books we have available. They're written too fast, they follow the same formula and lose the precious tone of the true writer's voice. They may be neat and orderly and follow all the rules, but they don't pose any questions, they don't spark any imagination or inspire any beauty.

If you have a burning desire within you to release the pressure of your exploding imagination through the avenue of a novel, you should. But do it the way you need to in order for it to be your true work of greatness. Don't just follow the rules, do your duty for November and then never think of it again. If you CAN do that, I would question why you are even doing it in the first place.

Not everyone needs to write. If you don't need to, why clutter up an already congested world of books? Let's make sure we aren't wasting our lives doing something that is someone else's job. Find your passion, find what makes you soar, and do THAT. You'll never regret it.

For me, it's writing. And for me, it could never be contained by a month or a plan.

Five Shows on Netflix with a Positive Message

Christian movies are slowly getting better. The recent "Mom's Night Out" proved it. But they still have a long way to go to match the quality of content available in a secular context.

Why is this? You would think that Christians would have the best handle on art as literature, television and movies, but at least in the past fifty years, it's been sadly lacking in depth.

My personal opinion is that we play it too safe. We impose rules on our art that can take away from its meaning and purpose. Some may be getting an uncomfortable feeling hearing this, but before you discount me as a heretic and a backslidden world-lover, think about the stories in the Bible. Some of the most disturbing stories I've ever heard came straight from Scripture. God doesn't sugar coat the human nature for us, so why do we tend to think that what is okay to read in church on Sunday isn't okay in any other context?

For a story to have depth, there has to be a certain element of darkness to it, because we all have a certain element of darkness. We can't be afraid of thinking about the hard questions, because the world is not afraid of them, and we are weakening our witness when we avoid topics we don't like.

In light of this, for the believer who wants to challenge themselves to dig a little deeper into the culture without sacrificing their conscience and purity, I'm suggesting five shows on netflix with an overall positive message.

It doesn't mean I approved of everything these characters said and did. It means I mostly agreed with the way the theme was portrayed, and that it was a theme worth considering. It means these programs have interesting characters and story lines that make you think about the deeper questions of life. It means that although these shows had low moments when they were way off base, although there are episodes or a scene here or there you might need to skip, when you get to the end of the series, you can say that you are coming away from the show with something positive that does lead you to thoughts about God and his plan for this world.

1. The X-Files (an oldie but a goodie)

I started watching X-Files with my family when I was a teenager. Something about the characters resonated with me, though I had never been abducted by aliens or come across a mutant monster.

The overall message of X-Files is one of hope. It's about friendship, about trust, about not letting truth be hidden, about being willing to consider the impossible, about not being afraid of the darkness because you have someone, even if it's just one person in six billion, watching your back. It's also quirky, funny, smart, educational at times, and wonderfully bizarre. There's a reason X-Files is still around, still loved and still watched and re-watched.

2. Fringe

Fringe is kind of the 2000's version of X-Files. I watched this one all the way through several times, because there was so much to pick up on. It is a work of art in that there are many layers to the characters and story. Fringe is a five-season intriguing and sometimes disgusting nod to science and the universe and everything beyond.

Fringe's theme is the strength of family. Though the show examines ideas so disturbing and has enough slime and goo that you're going to regret that snack, when you get to the end you see how the whole thing was about love being strong enough to overcome impossible odds, and family being important enough to sacrifice everything.

3. Doctor Who

I know, you're thinking I'm going overboard with the science fiction. I should have mentioned I'm a nerd. But honestly, science fiction is a better way to tell a story, at least from my viewpoint. There are no limits, no rules of reality to follow, and that makes it a much easier way to explore deeper questions. I think everyone should attempt to think a little more deeply about the world and all the possibilities within it. I feel like we have more than enough cop and lawyers, stupid humor, sex and reality shows. You aren't going to find much of a message in those, at least not one that isn't cynical or a lie. Maybe it's time you consider worlds beyond your own.

Doctor Who is a brilliant show that travels all of time and space in the box of a madman who has been alive for over a thousand years. You will feel your mind expanding as you consider all the possibilities. The message of Doctor Who is a little harder to nail down, but it's similar to Fringe and X-Files. In all of time and space, love and respect for others is what makes all the struggle worth it.

4. Chuck

Honestly, this one almost didn't make the cut. But in the end, when I considered it from beginning to end and saw the big picture, it absolutely did.

When Chuck was on television, I started watching it, stopped for a season because it got too ridiculous, then started again and realized it got better. There is an aspect of stupid humor to Chuck, and it has some low moments that might not be worth watching. But the theme makes it worth it to bypass the silliness. The character Chuck is one of the most interesting characters I've ever seen on tv. In one sense, he's weak and a failure at life. But as the show goes on and he transforms into this completely different person with depth and strength and honor, you change your mind about him. The overall theme of Chuck I think may have been somewhat unintended, and might have largely to do with the depth of the actor who played Chuck, Zachary Levi, who is a believer who was not ashamed of adding his own element to the story line. To me, the theme was "When you do what's right and honorable, you become the sort of person you never thought you could be." In another sense, Chuck has a very tangible chord of "love is sacrifice" written within the thread of the story.

5. Prison Break

I found Prison Break during a very emotional time of my life. And as weird as it may sound, I think this show helped me process my grief.

I didn't watch this show when it was on simply because it sounded like another boring cop show geared toward guys. Could not have been more wrong! Instead of being the same old, same old, I've never seen anything quite like Prison Break. That's probably why they couldn't come up with a better name for it. They went with the obvious one.

Prison Break is raw, gritty, very dark at times, and doesn't shy away from the less desirable and quite frightening characters in the world. But it was a story with flawed, beautiful main characters who took an extremely difficult situation and persevered to the end. The theme was most definitely love as sacrifice, and I'm always a sucker for that story.

So there you have it. Five shows on netflix you can start watching today and be confident that when you come to the end of it it will stick with you in a positive way. Just don't stay up all night. (Like I did, often, and regretted it ...)

How about you? Do you know a great show either on netflix or on primetime I didn't mention? I'm always looking for good ones, since they are few and far between, and I'm sure others are as well. Enlighten us!

My Journey to Health (Healing from Hypothyroidism and PCOS)

Every time I've sat down to start writing out this story - a story I hope will help readers who may relate to find their own answers to their own puzzling journey - I'm stumped at where to start. The beginning of this journey started so long ago I was still a child in the process of becoming a young woman. The effects of this journey have been my constant and frustrating companions for most of my life. I am still in shock when I consider that I may have reached the end of the worst part of this struggle. The part with no answers. No help. The part where hope for a solution had dwindled away almost to nothing.

It's hard to believe this body can be well. But it's been almost a month since I found the answers that tied everything together. And I feel WELL.

So I will try to briefly sum up what's been going wrong for the past 28 years:

My childhood was relatively normal in the way of health, although I did get sick more than the average child and I did battle asthma and allergies. I suppose it was my normal. But when I hit puberty, my body ... well, the only way to put it is that my body freaked out. I started gaining weight for no reason, and I began to have new symptoms that would eventually be diagnosed as Ulcerative Colitis. After a few years, migraines began, and when I got married and wanted to start a family, I had to deal with infertility first.

My body and my four pregnancies did not go together well. Four body freak-outs (and beautiful kids) later, and 10 years, and I was in a bad place. Overweight, tired, depressed and anxious, I had to drag myself out of bed and face each day, try to think clearly enough to teach my kids and write. I was trying to beat myself into a place of health. Strenuous exercise that drained me of every last reserve of energy, trying to eat healthy, whole foods and take the right supplements left me mostly disillusioned. I thought it was impossible for my body to get healthy. I seemed allergic to the very exercises and food that doctor after doctor or fad after fad or product after product had told me would make me a healthy weight and help me feel better. I had the thought many times that if I could just stop eating altogether maybe my body would be happy. I even tried it a couple times, but it only brought on new problems.

I'm not sorry for the journey. Having those health struggles are what made me start thinking about a healthier way to live. I will never regret learning a lifestyle that has helped my entire family develop healthy habits of living.

But one day very recently, out of nowhere, I stumbled upon the address of a doctor. An integrative doctor who was a five-minute drive from my house. I called her office, thinking it would be months and months until she could see me, afraid that insurance wouldn't cover her fees and I would put a strain on the family financially. I thought there had to be a catch.

She welcomed me into her office and talked to me for over 2 hours. She listened carefully to every detail of my health history and my story. She did a careful examination and decided to send me to an endocrinologist (who won't be able to see me for three months) to rule out more complicated problems with my thyroid. She gave me a thorough list of everything I should be eating and shouldn't. Told me several supplements to help with my troubling symptoms. Handed me the bottle of thyroid pills I probably should have been taking 20 years ago.

But there was a moment in her office where everything fell into place. Where all my years of blaming and berating myself were canceled out. She put her hand on my shoulder, got my attention, and said confidently, "This is not your fault."

So, dear reader who can relate to this story, I'm here to tell you, if you have been vigilantly trying to get your body out of a life-long freakout, if you have tried every fad and diet and supplement out there and still feel and look unhealthy, if you know deep down in your soul that something is wrong with you no matter how many doctors have told you your levels are "normal," IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT. I invite you to stay tuned to this blog. I'm going to have several more posts in the coming months that will deal specifically with the two issues that were causing me the most trouble. PCOS (and other hormonal issues) and Hypothyroidism. These are two types of autoimmune trouble that are not well understood or easily treated, but more and more people are struggling with them every day. 

We're going to find some answers. And I'm going to tell you, that even though I am only beginning my journey to wellness, after one month of following her instructions (to the letter) I have lost an entire clothes size. That may not sound amazing unless you, like me, have tried everything in vain and still feel swollen and uncomfortable in your body. I have never lost weight so painlessly in my life, and I've been trying to lose weight for most of my life. Something is working here. And if it can work for me, it can work for anyone.

So follow my blog and check back. Sign up on the email list. We're going to talk about specific symptoms, diet, supplements and even how our attitude will affect our ability to get well. 

I'm not there yet. Neither are you. But we're going to get there together. I'd love to hear your thoughts or your stories. Let me know in the comments what you've been dealing with and what answers you are hoping to find.